Breathe. Calm down. Stop shaking. Don’t cry. Okay. Steady. Breathe. FIRE. Reload. I’ve got this. I’ve finally got this down. Between all the traveling, this small mountain town I’ve been in, doing yoga in fields of dandelions, drinking until I have amnesia, smoking until the asthma kicks in, the cold, and the fact that I’m isolated. I’m ready. I can finally do this. I’ve made peace. I’m fine. It’s okay. I know what to do now, and I’m doing it. Don’t worry. Don’t stress. Don’t follow my path. I’m ready.
It’s my choice.
Dear Tumblr Followers,
My personal life is in ruins.
Every single day, I’m at war with myself.
Battling depression, anxiety, and self hate.
I’ve been through far too much in my lifetime.
I’m too young to be this sad.
Too young to be this broken.
I can’t seem to go five minutes without wanting to kill myself.
Without want to run away.
Some days I wish I could be like you, I mean him.
A self centered, egotistical fuck up.
But, then I remember that I am Angel.
Angel is me.
I do not fuck up.
Or take no as an answer.
I will get through this.
I shall win.
For I always win.
I have a long road ahead of me.
There are many things that I must see, and do.
Lots of people I must impact.
I leave in just a few hours.
I’m going on a road trip across the entire country.
I need to find myself.
For I am lost.
For I do not get angry, instead i take it all out on myself.
I will no longer do that.
I will learn how to be selfish.
Learn to put myself first.
Learn ways to never trust you again!
I gave you every thing.
I sacrificed my own sanity.
All you did was use me.
You ruined me.
Look at me.
Look at what you fucking did to me.
I am a beautiful catastrophe .
I hope you’re happy.
I hope you’re safe.
I hope you’ll be fine.
You took everything.
Even my cats hostage.
So now, you can have my life, and my job too.
I need it not where I am going.
Remember what you did, and never forget it.
I’ll stop loving you.
You don’t deserve it, and that is for damn sure.
I am on hiatus now.
So wait for me lovers.
For as long as it takes?